Quidditch and Exploding Quills
by Arin DeStruction
Summary: Sirius Black charms his way out of a detention by dangling the impending Quidditch Cup over McGonagall's head. One-shot.


**Quidditch and Exploding Quills**

**One-Shot**

"Oh, come on!" 17-year-old Sirius Black whined to his Transfiguration teacher. "It was a harmless prank! One I certainly don't deserve detention for!"

"Miss McKinnon lost her eyebrows! I hardly consider that a harmless prank, Mr. Black!" McGonagall stared at him sternly, crossing her arms. "And I most definitely think it warrants a detention. More than one, as a matter of fact!"

"Okay, okay." Sirius pleaded, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "It was an accident. The quill wasn't supposed to explode, per say... Just go up in smoke when she wrote a certain word." His dark eyes sparkled at the thought of the exact word she needed to write to set off the exploding- Err... Smoking quill.

"Yes, and what exactly made her write that certain word? Because if I recall correctly, that word was not spoken in this class and I certainly did not say it. It had no place in her notes, Mr. Black!"

"Maybe she's just dirty... And she wasn't actually taking the notes she was supposed to! Look, we have a Quidditch match that I absolutely can't miss on Saturday! And detention would severely lessen our chance of winning. You want that Quidditch Cup this year, don't you? We can't win if we're short a Chaser!"

"We have a very excellent back-up Chaser if you were unable to play, Mr. Black. We could win the match, if he tried hard."

"Exactly! If he tried! I don't have to try! Please, please, please! It's the biggest match of the season and we'll have no chance of winning if James is left to his own devices without me! He'll be completely lost. Sick with worry about his best friend, in fact. He'll be totally off of his game."

"Fine! No detention. But if you think about pulling one of your little practical jokes in my classroom again, it will be detention every Saturday for the rest of the school year. Quidditch or not!"

Sirius' eyes began to sparkle the second the words 'no detention' slipped from McGonagall's mouth. He bounded up to her and kissed her on the cheek. "You won't regret this, Minnie!" He said, excitedly, bounding from the classroom.

"You better win me that Quidditch Cup, Mr. Black! And don't call me Minnie!" McGonagall yelled after the black-headed boy. She shook her head in frustration and sat back down at her desk to finish grading essays.

Sirius ran all the way to the Gryffindor common room, barely letting the portrait of The Fat Lady open fully before continuing his sprint to his dorm room. When he knocked on the closed door, he heard James yell. "Who is it?"

"It's Padfoot! Open the bloody door!" He yelled back, hopping on the balls of his feet.

"Ask me a question first!"

Sirius groaned. He hated these stupid questions to make sure they were who they said they were. "What are Dumbly's three favorite Muggle things in the whole world?"

"Lemon drops, bowling, and, oddly enough, knitting. What's our favorite nickname for our great and wonderful Transfiguration professor that you just narrowly escaped from?"

"Minnie." Sirius banged his head on the door as he was met with silence. "McGoogles. Only, she only knows the first part of said nickname." James opened the door and Sirius was met with a lopsided grin. "Come on, Prongsy-boy, can't think of any better questions than that?"

"Not at the moment." James said, shrugging his shoulders. "How'd it go, Pads?"

"Yeah, what happened? Have we lost the match before it even starts?" Remus said, looking over the top of his Arithmancy book. Not that he really cared for Quidditch much, but the Gryffindor pride in him wanted that blasted trophy to be their's again.

Sirius belly-flopped onto his bed, barely missing knocking Peter over. "I must say, my furry little friend, that James and I better play the best damned game of our lives to stay ahead in points. The grovelling I had to do... It was brutal."

"She let you off?" Peter squeaked.

"Of course, she did. She's in love with me, I tell you. All I had to do was turn on the charm and remind her that Davis is a horrible bloody Chaser and we'd have no chance without me." Remus snorted, not removing his eyes from his text. "And what was that for, Moony?"

"I don't think she's the one in love, Pads." He said, simply.

"Of course she is! Who wouldn't be after a romance-filled night with your's truly?" He rolled onto his back, his head hanging off the side of the bed.

"You spent the night with a professor?" Peter said, quietly, but in awe.

"She won't tell you that, of course. Top secret information, Wormy. But let me tell you, the woman likes it doggy-style." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively and was met with a pillow to the face, courtesy of James. "What was that for? She's hiding a very naughty woman under those robes!"

"I really don't feel like hearing what she's hiding under her robes, Pads. As far as I'm concerned, there's a very tiny troll living in her knickers." James laughed as he caught his pillow that Sirius launched back.

Remus looked pointedly at Peter, who was still looking at Sirius like he was Merlin himself. "Wormtail, he really didn't shag a teacher. He's not serious."

"I am, too, Sirius! It says so on my birth certificate." He grinned, which didn't have the same effect considering his head was dangling upside down. "Pete, don't believe him. Just don't ask McGoogles about it. She'll deny the greatest night of passion she's ever had to keep us out of trouble. Student-teacher relations are strictly forbidden, you know."

"Pads, stop telling the poor boy you slept with a teacher! You know he'll believe anything you say."

"I will not." Peter said, beginning to pout.

"I'll give you the sordid details later, okay, Wormy?" Sirius whispered.

Peter grinned. "Okay!"

X X X


End file.
